the dark cloud

So I always wanted to be one of those people who kept a journal. So that one day my children would enjoy reading their mothers thoughts(do I really want my children to know my dark thoughts?They are a little more dark than I would like. Maybe when I am dead), but i can't seem to keep up with it. I always have the inclination to write and the thought flow but the whole paper to pen thing I can't keep up with. Writing is such a lost art. I love receiving letters from people, don't you? It makes my day when I go to the mailbox and their is a letter from someone. Something other than a bill or a piece of junk mail. SO I try to randomly write friends letters, hope they enjoy them.

O.k. back to journaling. Gary and I started a combined journal when we moved in together, I think he has hidden it from the view of young eyes I hope he did not discard it. It was nice to be able to share with one another in the written form , it at times helped us organize our thoughts before we irrationally vented on one another. I believe those vents is why it is hidden right now. Why did we seem to write only the negative? It became a bitch book unfortunately. i try to be grateful for all that I have but the negative just manifests itself in my head. Sometimes I think that it is the area in which I live. i don't remember being so negative in other places. Is there a dark dismal cloud hanging over rensselaer county?

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