wonder if......

OK so I haven't blogged in quite some time, you would think with having 10 weeks off for the summer I could do it everyday.  But alas this is not the case.  I am going a little stir crazy, it is like this balancing act.  During the school year I do not have but 45 minutes to one hour myself a day, which  is scheduled for a work out.  Now here I am with all this time and not knowing what to do with it, well kinda not knowing what to do with it.  I have cleaned out two closets and one & a half bedrooms ( I am taking a break from the 1/2 one).  I was reading an article the other day which included the Portuguese word Saudade which may  be translated as a deep longing or yearning for something which does not exist or is unattainable.  A common feeling in my life.  I found great satisfaction in finding this word for I have not found a word in English to quite describe my feelings, plus having the world be a foreign word makes it e...

What happens now? As i wonder just how, I have fallen in love with you? For it's nothing you do , just you being you! Standing between two. My heart belonging to you. The other i am bound, with no love to be found. My mind says let go, my heart kicks and screams no!!! Nothing but screams holding onto a dream. A dream of a man, accepting my love but he no longer can. How to live with so much to give? To hold it within, Would it be a sin?

Had a great positive day.  Homespun Community Dance is doing a dance residency at my school this week.  Of course I struggled through the scheduling of it trying to make about 50 teachers happy when there is less then 1/4 of the school left is not an easy task.   Homespun Community Dance is a very cool group of older gentlemen who play instruments and teach folk dances from around the world.  The cool thing is that they are performing the music with the students as they dance.  The day went off well, except for a few glitches.  Presetting students can be a very important aspect of teaching if you want smoother transitions.  I am a music teacher only seeing my students once a week for forty minutes.  During my time with them I preset them for this event.  I also asked my faculty at our faculty meeting to do the same, with several email reminders.  I do understand how jam packed an educators day is especially in our day of TESTI...

It's been a long while since I have been here.  I truly miss this.  All the baseball games were canceled for the day , thank you Mother Nature best Mothers day gift of all!!!  So I am home, catching up on reading many of my favorite blogs, thank you to all U, there are so many I can't possible list them.  A wonderful mother , great friend and role model just sent me an email with a video clip called The Gift of an Ordinary Day by Katrina Kenison.  WOW is all I have to say, if you have time look it and watch but be sure to have your tissues handy.  I struggle each day to look at it as a gift when my world is filled with obligations, yet today I am home free looking at the positive ,and trying to hold back the tears that just want to flow.  Maybe they are tears of joy for the realization of the wonderful blessings that have been bestowed upon my life?  That is how I am trying to look at them but there is a sense of sadness that I can not escape...

Spring Recess has begun, such fun! I have all of next week off or at least people are telling me that I have it off, as my calendar  accumulates activities for each hour. Can't I just erase the board???  Isn't this vacation????? Oh but here comes Peter Cottontail!!!

OK so for the past two weeks it has been hard to function at all.  Don't know what planets are crashing but I am definitely feeling it.  I have not been sick just drained completely emotionally and spiritually drained.  I am slowly climbing out of it . Friday was Professional Development day at work .  I signed up for my morning sessions but was having a hard time signing up for the afternoon sessions as most of my department was finding difficulty due to the lack of pd offered.  So we all decided a little lunch at the Ale House might be in order and it definitely was.  So here I was with some time on my hands and being the mother of three and not being able to function much last week the last place I wanted to be was in my house.  The house that a bomb went off in .  So I went to the only book store in town.  I love spending time in bookstores plus it was some quiet time for myself.  So here I am in the bookstore, not really paying muc...

OK, How many of you like to receive a nice letter in the mail from a friend?  I know I do.  Even though most of the time I get the mail from the mailbox it is junk mail, I still enjoy the wonder of "will there be a letter?"  On small occasions there is a letter that you open and savor.  A nice card from a friend far away with actual hand written words, possibly in a colorful pen.  You read it once, you read it twice, you may read it everyday for a week or longer.  It inspires you to write one back and maybe even write a letter to a different friend.  In this technological world we all email, face book, blog, etc..... and don't get me wrong I love them all, but what has happening to letter writing.  We say we have no time, but really how many hours do we spend on the computer blogging or facebooking. So why has this art form lost its value?  It has lost its value so much that post offices are closing.  Mail delivery may be shortened ...

Looks like fun Instructions: The post is a list of 99 random things. Bold the ones that you yourself have done. 1. Started your own blog 2. Slept under the stars 3. Played in a band 4. Visited Tasmania 5. Watched a meteor shower 6. Given more than you can afford to charity 7. Been to Sea World 8. Climbed a mountain 9. Held a praying mantis 10. Sang a solo 11. Bungee jumped 12. Visited Paris 13. Watched a lightning storm 14. Taught yourself an art from scratch 15. Adopted a child 16. Had food poisoning 17. Went to the top of Centrepoint Tower 18. Grown your own vegetables 19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France 20. Slept on an overnight train 21. Had a pillow fight 22. Hitch hiked 23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill 24. Built a snow man 25. Held a lamb 26. Gone skinny dipping 27. Run a Marathon 28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice 29. Seen a total eclipse 30. Watched a sunrise or sunset 31. Hit a home run 3...

OK so I have been really enjoying all of the creative blogs on SITS and Lady Blogger Society (Thanks Katie), but I am finding myself lost in blogs and ignoring the family, YIKES. Any of you that have kids know what happens then. Those wonderful children know that you are ignoring them and reek havoc on anything and everything. So I joined Lady Bloggers Society and I can not get the badge on my profile it keeps telling me there are invalid characters or something I don't know. I will try again . If anyone has any advice please let me know. So last week I friend requested my biological father and alas he ignored. I know this because his wall is public and he recently became friends with other people but not me. Does this bother me? I don't know, I am kind of indifferent to the situation. I don't know him wouldn't even be able to recognize him if he walked into the room. I guess what bothers me the most is the situation I am in, in having to explain this to my childr...

Ode to my little muse, into whom I long to fuse. So like the morning dew, on leaves, so i'm on you. Oh so much fun, it must be done. Will it work for you, or should I get a clue? Oh Bus boy, bus boy, So much fun to toy. Oh bus boy , bus boy, when all fantasy's destroyed. Oh bus Boy ,Bus boy, There's no need for being coy. Oh bus boy , Bus boy Why deprive us the joy? You couldn't make me cry, and without a single try, Such tears fell from my eyes. and I couldn't tell him why. Oh, What a sight. I'm not looking for a fight, I'm hoping to cater, I'm sorry now you're a waiter Child don't you see, Now you belong to me. Go service all my customers, then come and service me.

Ok so I was searching blog templates but it just seems as though it may be too much work for me. I just want to write. I should be doing this at night when I rest my head on the pillow cause that is when all the thoughts come rumbling in, but this seems as though it is my little quiet time. Today the sun in shining Yeah!!!!! 45 degrees out, Yeah, what a nice relief from that low pressure that was hanging above us. Looking for a good book for my book club NBC(Naughty Book Club). We started with a naughty paranormal romance just for kicks and giggles. This Month's book has been entertaining, not as naughty. All the books do not have to be naughty but I am unsure as to how deep others want to go. The book has to be a quick easy read for all of us moms and teachers, entertaining, and I am hoping for somthing to create some great discussion. Any suggestions?!?!? I am feeling disappointed in myself lately for my lack of motivation in regards to my musicianship. I just want...

OK March 1st and now a new mind set.  At least I am trying to focus on the positive:):):) It has been a fun past few days , I have been blog browsing.  Blog browsing can be quite fun, but sometimes I would get a little kick in the gut when you see all of the family blogs.  Really, everyone is so in love with their kids?!?!  I mean I unconditionally love my children and do everything I can for them but really people.  Maybe because most of them only have about 1 to 2 kids, but is everyone being so real on their blogs.... " I am married to the best guy...... I have three wonderful kids......blog, blog, blog and so on."  Get my picture? Really I do have a great husband and three wonderful kids.  I ask myself all the time how did I become so blessed .  I am working on finding myself again because being a wife and mom can cause a woman to lose themselve, so I will not be boasting about my wonderful family.  Sorry, at least not right no...

It has been awhile since I have posted anything and I as look back to what I posted a year ago, I am noticing a pattern.  Winter drags......on and on.  It is dark and gloomy.  If I had lots of money it would be fun to do winter sports such as skiing then winter may not drag on and on.  But alas I do not have a money tree in my back yard and skiing with a family of five would be quite an expense.  I have to go back to work tomorrow and that will be a good thing.  I need routine even though sometimes the routine freaks me out also.  I am always looking for that perfect balance and having a hard time finding it.  I am sure that the lack of excercise in my life and my wonderful diet lately has not helped with the whole bablnce thing, but boy is it bad when it is off balance. I wonder why such a need for balance?!?!?  Does anyone else feel that need?  I don't know if I have ever felt the complete balance, i guess the scales are always tippi...