wonder if......

I think I have finally come from beyond the blue. Hoping I am not brought back there. Living in concert with my own life. Taking time to enjoy each moment no matter how hectic. Even though there are times I would like to rewind time. I know it can only go forward and forward it will travel with or without me. I have always wanted to have a Holiday Caroling like type party and I have not done it for the craziness of my December schedule just makes it daunting. I am now taking the bull by the horn and a caroling we will go. We  may not even leave the house but a caroling we will go in the piano room.

It has been a long winter.  I feel as though I have hibernated and put myself into a deep slumber. I am beginning to wake up with each little change in the weather.  Yet I wonder if being awake is really what I want? Callused is how I feel.  So separate from my true being. Stuck in the mud.  Having a traditionalist upbringing that questions my free artistic spirit.  Which one do I follow?  Am I allowed to do both? Wouldn't adhering to both be a contradiction?  Are we all truly free to be who we are? How do we express within the confines of societal expectations? Art is the only answer !!!!

Ok 10 weeks off and I never wrote.  That was 8 months ago.  WOW, I am back now with / a  little inspiration from an old friend http://s235587032.onlinehome.us/  Lianaspen. Liana was my college roomate and a great roommate at that  :) And see we are not even living together anymore and she is still motivating me.  It has been a long, long , long, busy, busy ,busy winter.  I am a music teacher in an urban school district and mom of three very busy kids, so my life right now has been dedicated to these roles and when you forget yourself and your passions it brings to you places you never want to be, very dark places. Lianas love and passion for writting has inpsried me to get back on track and take care of me!!!! If Momma ain't happy, nobodies happy!!! THANK YOU LIANA, love and miss you :):):)